rocket finance

Saturdays are for coffee: Coffee mug clues

On rocketfinance Saturday mornings, we like to sit around the house in our pajamas and sip our java until a little later in the morning. Actually, I usually have to work at my part-time job on Saturday mornings. . .but I would like to be sitting home with a good cup of coffee. If you are thus occupied at the moment – good for you!

Coffee cups are a common gift and sometimes we acquire too many of them. Back on January 1st, Frugal for Life posted 18 uses for coffee cups other than to hold a hot drink. In the comment thread, I stated that you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their coffee cup.  I was not fully prepared to back up my talk, but, Susan, another Frugal for Life reader called me out and asked me to elaborate. Here is my attempt to answer her question:

If you use a $22 insulated travel tumbler from Starbucks,

you might have just dropped your kids off at soccer practice and are headed for your spinning class in your Ford Expedition.

If you use a plastic travel mug from the local gas station,

you might have filled it while purchasing cigarettes and a lottery ticket on your way home from a third shift job.

If your coffee mug is stainless steel,

you might be a stressed-out general contractor who drives a Dodge Ram Quad Cab with a tool box in the back.

If your coffee cup has lipstick on it,

you might be an administrative assistant.

If your coffee cup is a souvenir from Wall Drug in South Dakota,

you might drive a recreational vehicle.

If your coffee cup is used as an ashtray,

where do you work? No one allows smoking indoors anymore!

If your coffee cup is half full and has mold growing in it,

you are probably a confirmed bachelor who lives at home with your mother. 

If your coffee cup is styrofoam,

you might work at a 10 minute Lube Express.

If your coffee cup is “green”, made from sustainable resources and contains an organic blend,

you probably voted for Al Gore in 2000. (if you are old enough)

If you don’t own at least one Green Bay Packer mug,

you are definitely not from Wisconsin.

If your coffee cup only holds tea,

you might be from England.

If your mug has a picture on the side, 

you might be a grandparent.

If your coffee cup has the words “World’s Greatest” written on it,

you probably know how to change a diaper.

If you never have quite enough time to finish a cup of coffee,

you might have small children in your house.

If your coffee cup is filled and emptied more than 4x a day,

you might need to have your teeth cleaned and I hope your desk is close to the restroom.

If your coffee cup has the name of a pharmaceutical company written on the side,

you probably know how to intubate a patient.

If you have to unscrew the top of your coffee container and pour the coffee into the top,

you might have been born before World War II.

If your cup contains more creamer than coffee

– then why don’t you just drink hot chocolate?

If your coffee cup contains cheap coffee sprinkled with cinnamon,

you might be a personal finance blogger.

The preceding post may or may not be gospel truth. Information contained therein is intended for entertainment purposes only. Exaggeration, over-simplification, outward judgement, hyperbole and stereotypical generalization is par for the course. No coffee cups were harmed in the writing of this post. Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy.